The other day I read an observation about how adults teach ourselves that our bedrooms and beds should only be for sleeping, but then we turn our childrens’ bedrooms into playrooms and wonder why they fight sleep. Personally, I don’t know that I have ever personally had a problem with my boys sleeping in their rooms after playing in them, but I have historically had problems with insomnia that were exacerbated by treating my room as an office or student lounge and not a bedroom.

I eventually had to seek treatment for my insomnia which involved some significant lifestyle management (sleep schedule, sleep routine, wake times, rigid adherence) and about three weeks of medical intervention in the form of sleeping pills. I mentioned this to my therapist last week as we discussed my current problems with insomnia, racing thoughts, and sleep avoidance.

Probably due to my own habit of restricting the use of my bedroom to sleep, we tend to use our bedroom and the kids’ room only for sleeping around here. The boys typically bring toys downstairs and play throughout the house. We have designated activity areas: Arts and crafts at the kitchen table, no playing in the living room when anyone is napping upstairs, and loud activities including television watching, computer games, and monster truck rallies in the family room. The only bone of contention is the office, which I believe should be kid-free, a policy with which the children disagree. The only activity that the boys do upstairs is use the train table because it doesn’t fit anywhere else.

My boys don’t have problems falling asleep at night. The tank used to play in his room a lot more, especially before we moved the bedrooms upstairs and right after we fixed up his room upstairs, just after his brother was born. That time period was also the time when he had the most problems falling asleep, with staying up and playing with toys when he should be in bed, and generally fighting bedtime. When we moved N2 up to share the tank’s room, that meant more often play moved downstairs to avoid naptime conflicts. Pretty soon, N2 was walking and playing with the tank and we restricted all play to downstairs so N2 wouldn’t fall down the stairs. We’ve seen the best improvement in all sleep after making this change.

My bedroom as a child was my refuge from the world and my playroom, and it is worth noting that I could sleep anywhere (standing up, on the toilet, in the bathtub, on a warm radiator) EXCEPT in my own bed. I often slept on the couch. Maybe there is some truth to the idea that bedrooms are for sleeping, not just for adults, but for children too. I think it certainly can’t hurt to start a good habit in childhood and carry it over into adulthood. Make it a habit now so they don’t struggle later. I think it’s worth giving a try.