Two Families Grapple with Sons’ Gender Preferences : NPR.

I have a friend grappling with the fact that her young child identifies as transgender. She will have many decisions to make in the comings days, months, years, not the least of which is how to treat her child right now, this moment. Does she respect the preferences her child is expressing, or does she try to redirect her child to more “appropriate” forms of expression that validate the child’s physical gender?

I think “redirecting,” in this sense, is too gentle a term. Forced mental reassignment to a body that doesn’t fit, to me, is a sure path to misery.  Removing all  joy from the life of a child, removing everything to which a child relates in order to force him or her to conform to a body they don’t love or understand is cruel. The child in the NPR story who follows the “therapy” prescribed by Zucker smacks of neurosis.

History has shown us what happens to transgendered people who receive a low level of acceptance at an early age and who are forced to live as a gender with which they do not identify. Anxiety, depression, and suicide are reality for many transgendered people, especially prior to transition.

“…it has been estimated that as many as 30 percent of all youth suicides are completed by gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgendereds.”

“Gay,lesbian, bisexual, and transgender teens are vulnerable to depression and suicide because they not only deal with the normal problems of being a teen, but also the discrimination, intolerance, harassment, and hate of people who cannot accept their orientation.”

The Trevor Helpline is a 24-hour suicide prevention line aimed at gay,lesbian, bisexual, transgender and questioning teens.

The number is:

1-866-4-U-TREVOR

If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please dial 911. If you know a GLBT youth who is depressed, encourage them to reach out to the people at the Trevor hotline.

I hope I live to see a day where these statistics are part of a sad and sordid social history, where children can find support and love and courage to be themselves, without fear of condemnation and a revocation of the unconditional love that every parent owes their child.

I love you, my friend. Whether you call it Camp Mary or Camp Mark, we will still come and play at your park.