Along the lines of a conversation I had online with some friends, today I implemented what I hope will be a new tradition in our house. Rather than fighting to get my older son to vaguely tell me about his day, I have five questions I think every family should consider answering at the dinner table.

What made you happy today?
What did you learn today?
What did you do to help someone today?
What was your favorite moment of the day?
What was the biggest problem you had today and how did you solve it?

» Continue reading “Roses and Thorns”

Only there’s no beer, no ping pong, no passed out sorority chicks, and no fun. What do we have? A riot of vomit all over my fucking house.

AUGH!

All winter we’ve been assaulted by a myriad of stomach viruses; it has been a plague to which no one has been immune. Tonight, it started with the tank telling me he spent recess in the nurse’s office because he had a tummy ache. Then at dinner, he refused sweet potatoes, chicken, and green beans. I told him if he wanted more white potatoes he had to eat three green beans for me.

» Continue reading “Like a Frat House Beer Pong Tournament”

I remember my father driving in the car, fumbling with the lyrics to an untold number of songs. I have been known on occasion to do the same, though usually late at night when I am driving, no one else is awake or riding with me, and I am trying to stay awake. It appears that my son, the tank, has inherited this predisposition as well, though amplified a million times over because of his astounding lack of vocabulary.

» Continue reading “Chronic Lyricosis”

My kid got sent home sick for coughing. Ok kid, what are you doing home? You’re healthier than I am but I have a lot more shit to do today than you do. I can already anticipate the phone call from my boss where my son barrels into the office and loudly proclaims that poop is stuck in his bottom, or something equally as savory. The kicker? He hasn’t coughed more than twice since he’s been home. He HAS, however, managed to:

» Continue reading “What are you doing home?”