I was daydreaming just now, thinking about a conversation I had earlier with another parent. We were discussing the issues his son was having in school, how amotivated his child was and their struggle to get him to make an effort. It got me to thinking about what motivates our children to achieve and then mentally, automatically rephrased it as what motivates our children to make an effort.

» Continue reading “An Open Letter to My Children”

I have witnessed first hand the bootstrap conundrum. There is a prevailing attitude in our country that people who have problems need to learn to pick themselves up by their bootstraps, snap out of it, and “just do it.” A typical bipolar response to this attitude, however, is “how do you pick yourself up by your bootstraps when you don’t even have any boots?”

» Continue reading “Part 4: The Bootstrap Conundrum & Personal Accountability”

“Denial is an unconscious defense mechanism used by those faced with a painful reality. It is an automatic reaction in an attempt to reduce anxiety by denying thoughts, feelings, or facts that are consciously intolerable. It is common for those who are diagnosed with a life-long illness to go through periods of denial.”

» Continue reading “Part 2: Denial”

I see a therapist to help me achieve specific goals in my life. I am past the point in therapy where I want to talk about my daddy issues; I don’t need insight into my illness, I have it seeping out of my pores. What I need now are results. I know what’s broken; I am looking for tried and true approaches for achieving a higher level of function. I need to replace old coping mechanisms, or areas of my life where I have no coping mechanisms at all, with ideas and practices that work. I need an action plan!

» Continue reading “Turning Thought into Practice”

Don’t Neglect Your Body as You Develop Your Mind.

I was talking to my husband late last night about the things that are preying on my mind these days. He leaves for a contract job 1000 miles away from us next week and I am hunkered down trying to ride out the emotional turbulence leading up to his departure: all of the last minute home improvements, the disorganized clutter involved with finding passports, social security cards, etc., the cleaning and packing.

» Continue reading “The Mind-Body Connection”

When I was in elementary school, I had a falling out with my circle of friends. It is a scene I have since seen played out on many different stages with many different girls in very similar circumstances. The social hierarchy of young people is unstable and unforgiving. My circumstances seemed particularly harsh and I would be dishonest if I didn’t confess that the effects of the treatment I received at the hands of my former friends didn’t leave me traumatized.

» Continue reading “Looking for Injury: A Self-Centered Perspective”

Are you defined by what you lack or by what you have?

In an economy that continues it’s journey up Shit’s Creek with no paddle in sight; in a country that values consumerism and capitalism as fundamental pillars of society; among people who define success according to wealth and status, it’s no wonder a lot of people are depressed. We often define ourselves, or allow others to define us, by the things we lack. We often take what we have for granted.

» Continue reading “Question of the Day”

Compare…

A.I.G. Planning Huge Bonuses After $170 Billion Bailout

and contrast…

More than a year ago, a handful of homeless people staked out the site on the northern edge of downtown Sacramento. Now there are more than 100 tents and anywhere between 300 to 400 people living without running water or sanitation. Their only protection from the elements is nylon tents and plastic tarps.

» Continue reading “Compare and Contrast”

My husband has a really bad habit of buying something because it’s a good deal, even if it’s not exactly what he wants. He then spends an exorbitant amount of time and money trying to make it into whatever it was he really, truly wanted. The problem with this scenario is that it always ends up costing more than if he’d just bought what he wanted, and leaves him disillusioned and resentful.

» Continue reading “Get What You Want!”

It’s a Tibetan saying. I thought it was doubly apt as the Dalai Lama is set to celebrate 50 years of exile from Tibet and the people of Tibet labor under oppressive restrictions on basic freedoms that we take for granted. But, I also found other meanings to it; I am sure that I could find a million ways to apply this saying to my life. Today, this one application trumped: I wanted to apply this idea of compassion to myself and others who tend to view themselves or others with a critical, skewed, even pessimistic perspective.

» Continue reading ““Who looks not with compassion sees not what the eyes of compassion see. “”